Bay Area Reporter, Volume 1, Number 3, 1 May 1971

YOUR COMMUIMITY IMEWS

'0

BAY AREA REPORTER

' ' r""”.

VOLUME I NUMBER 3

MAY I, 1371

]

DAVID, GARY& FRIENDS:
High Camp in the Afternoon

There is always a lull in
the bars on Sunday between
Brunch and Dinner. However,
this Sunday past, that lull
was taken hold of and two
hours of pure, riotous en¬
joyment was offered. It has
been a long time since we
have been offered a late
afternoon diversion of Just
good clean fun. The Village
had a good crowd of people,
and when the cast made their
first appearance, it was
obvious that this was a
group of friends out to wish
their idols success.

After a brief introduction
David and Gary sat down to
a duet. This was followed
by a riotous piano skit with
other members of the cast.

Two more solos followed by
Gary and David. After an¬

other funny piano skit, Da¬
vid and Gary did their Sis¬
ters routine. If you have
never seen two Nuns camp
it up, you haven’t seen
anything. This was followed
by some very funny backstage
commercials. Then, our two
intrepid stars did a duet
on the organs and a tap
dance routine - needless to
say this brought the house
down, I might interject at
this point that Eileen, the
singer in the show, made
several brief trys to sing
and was yanked off stage at
each try. Very funny indeed.

After a brief intermis¬
sion, David returned to the
stage as a hobo. He sat
down at a small piano and
started to play, and as he
played the piano spoke back

hS03 POLK CAT SUTTER]

to him. It is difficult to
describe this funny skit to
anyone vho didn't see it.
Gary then returned to the
stage and introduced a
special guest, Oscar of
Grandma's House in Oakland,
Oscar gave us two very fine
songs, "The Street Where
You Live" from "I'ty Fair
Lady" and "Summertime" from
"Porgy and Bess". He was
rewarded with a long ova¬
tion from the audience for
a Job well done. David came
back, this time to a Grand
Piano, and did a Rachmani¬
noff study. This was piano
at its best, and the stand¬
ing ovation he got was ample
proof of this. Finally,
after being yanked off the
stage many times before
hand, Eileen finally got
a chance to sing. She gave
us an excellent rendition
of "Dance Gypsies". This
was followed by a hilarious
bit of camp nostalgia - Ei¬
leen was Joined by Fred
and took off on some Jea¬
nette MacDonald and Nelson
Eddy duets, which brought
the house down. Eileen's
hat was so big, poor Fred
had trouble getting next
to her. We might also men¬
tion that David and Gary
were also done up in pic¬
ture hats for the bit.

The highlight of the
evening followed with David
doing a complete take-off
on Ethel Smith, Some of the
members of the audience par¬
ticipated by tossing bana¬
nas at him. The whole cast
was on stage for this ren¬
dition of "Tico-Tico", and
were Joined by Gary as Car¬
men Miranda. The audience
by this time was applauding
and stamping so loudly, that
the cast did an encore of,
you guessed it, "Melancholy
Baby".

I don't remember how long
it has been since I have
laughed so long, and so hard.
The show was excellent from
the performers, costumes,
and the presentation of each
number, I speak for the en¬
tire audience when I say
thank you for a Job well
done, and for bringing a
little laughter and Joy
into our lives.

RICK..AT THE PIANO BAR

Mon - Thurs at 9 Sun at 3

JOHN & CLAY. .AT tHE PIANO BAR

Every Fri and Sat

OPEN 10 AM / SAT SUN 6 AM
COCKTAIL HOUR - 5:00

YOUR HOSTS..BOO,ART,DICK,TEDDY & LINI>A

B.A.R.

VOL. I IMO. 3 MAY I, 1071

BAY AREA REPORTER

= © copyright 1971

Bay Area Reporter (B. A. R.) is published
by Benro Enterprises, Inc., 1550 Howard
Street, San Francisco 94103- telephone
(415) 861-5019. Newspaper is free.
Advertising rates upon request.

Managing Editor- Michael Cunningham
Associate Editor-Terry Alan Smith
Photography- Left Bank Galleries

Articles herein represent the opinions of the
writers, and are not necessarily the opinions
of the publishers.

The editors are pleased to announce
that with this edition we have increased
to 32 pages and our printing will be
15,000 copies, and our distribution will
be from Vancouver to San Diego. Again,
our many thanks to you, our public.

by Benro Enterprises, Inc.:

att edctonial

On Saturday, April 2Uth, over 100,000
persons joined in for a massive peace
march and rally. Of the many groups repre¬
sented, one of the most outstanding was
that of the Gay People. It is heartening
to see many hundreds of Gay People march¬
ing en masse. This was an orderly and well
organized bloc. It is hoped that these same
persons who marched proudly as Gay People
also march proudly to their polling places
in the Fall and vote. Remember, these same
politicians who perpetrate this war also
block all attempts at changing our archaic
and inhuman laws regarding Gay People. E-
ven if you are a quiet member of our com¬
munity, remember they haven’t yet taken
away our right to vote, so exercise that
right. Perhaps, in the near future, we
won't have to march to protest our rights,
nor strike out at a system that is basi¬
cally sound, but is being used to further
the aims of a few.

editofu

We had the heeded op¬
portunity to enjoy the
Academy Awards at home.

A first this year, I be¬
lieve, for us. TV has been
a no-time word in our lives<

We particularly enjoyed
the very serious few min¬
utes which defined the
humanitarian. One of the
most beautiful words in
our langua^^e.

There seemed to be a
Complete and obvious lack
of the use of the words
»»!»» oj. »»j did" in conjunc¬
tion with this word 'hu¬

manitarian'. It is a self¬
less word - lets keep it
that way. Don't let bad
acting fool you.

When they said there
was going to be a Royal
Scandal, they meant it.
Wow, they are telling it
like it is!

Saturday, May Day (l) .

There is so much going
the first few days of May.
The Cabaret anniversary
with a show by the Czarina
Gabby and the Grand Duch¬
ess of the Theater,

Bashka. It really should
be great. The Hayloft in
Los Angeles is doing a
show, which I hear is go¬
ing to be something else.

I am so happy they decided
to do it for two weekends
in a row so we could at¬
tend, and we intend to.
And, of course, we are off
to Portland for a weekend
not to be forgotten. Par¬
ties, crownings, groovy
guys, shows, and on and
on and on,..

Tuesday, May Uth , off to
see Scottie at the Pit for
the T.G. meeting.

Wednesday. May 3th , Cinco
de Mayo at the Lonely Bull,
This has always been a ball.

Friday, May Tth , 'Once Upon
a Mattress' opening at the
S.I.R. Center.

Sunday, May 9th , Off to
the Hayloft. What groovy,
groovy guys. We won't miss
this show.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thips-

day. May iHth, 13th and l6th

the Royal Troubador is open¬
ing a show of shows in the
Magic Garden, We have been
waiting in great expectation
for this.

May I leave you with this
thought that has been proven
over and over again: "With
patience you cannot lose,
for those who dish out evil
will always have it returned
to them two-fold." This has
been proven again in the
last few weeks.

WITH IN HAND

Received an announcement
today that the Upper Mar¬
ket Street Gallery, 2323
Market, is having two one-
man art shows from April 20
to May 23. Laura Atkinson
(April 20 thru May 2) ajid
Willyum Rowe (May 5 thru
May 23). The announcements
were rather unique. Will
make the scene (or better
yet, make it yourself. It
promises to be diverting.)
and give you my impressions
of same.

The wood-worker I men¬
tioned in my last article
is no longer on the Six¬
teenth Street location. It
was, I guess, his time to
leave this scene and de¬
parted. Goodbye, friend,
rest in peace. He was in
that location for thirty-
some-odd-years and defi¬
nitely doing his thing,
and turning many people on
by it.

As of yet, I’ve not re¬
ceived answers to my cor¬
respondence on glass art.
This should be a very in¬
teresting article, so I’ll
have to put it off until
a later date.

The Heather Branch Chil¬
dren’s Hospital is sponsor¬
ing another art show this
coming week in Port Costa
across the Bay. Last year
it was a burst of effort
on the part of all the
people and was beneficial
to all the artists involved.
This year, it is being
held for the Bar Associa¬
tion and the A.M.A. of
Oakland, California. It
draws many professional
people and is a good show
to be part of, not only
for the artist in regards
to being noticed, but is
good for the children that
is helps in the medical
facility. If any are in¬
terested, please contact
Mrs, Lindeman of the Hea¬
ther Branch of the Chil¬
dren’s Hospital in Orinda,
California.

It seems that the City is
on another trip, this time
it’s the sidewalk gallery
scene in the Wharf and Can¬
nery section of North Beach.
I feel that I must comment
on this latest effort to
keep down the right of the
individual to make a living
by selling his art or trade.

I think there is something
in the Constitution about
the right of an individual
to sell his wares, trade or
art if it is his living, as
long as he has a license to
do same. Perhaps some well
worded letters to Mrs. Fein-
stein and the Mayor’s Of¬
fice would be of some help
to these artists. If you
have nothing in particular
to do, the envelope can be
addressed to City Hall, San
Francisco, etc...

Watched the ceremony of
the new fountain at the foot
of Market Street and the
turning on of the water. The
artist received forty thou
for the inspiration, and is
from Quebec, Canada, Now,
how is it, that this City,
with all its bubble, went
outside the community. After
all, we are the ones that
have to look at it. Is there
one damn thing in this city
outside of architecture that
was created and built by a
San Fraincisco artist through
a city commission? No shades
on Bufano, but even he ’gave'
the City most of his art.
Very little was commissioned.
I take that back, there was
the Exposition in 1915 or
there abouts and the T.I,
Fair in the Thirties, but
even then, the pieces were
stuck away in remote cor¬
ners of Golden Gate, It
would have been wonderful
to see a fountain designed
by a San Francisco artist
and even more wonderful to
have the City Fathers
proud of it. In fact, it
is the same with most of
the Arts in this City of
Art, I am continually a-
mazed at the trip from
City Hall to the privately
owned galleries. I guess
I got a little carried a-
way with this last one.

All for now, adios...

LB QEmRm

"THE CLUB THAT CARES

AIMNOUIMCING EVERY DAY 504:

THE 6 TO 9 COCKTAIL HOUR

DANCING EVERY NIGHT - FILMS TUESDAYS AT 8 P.M.
’V7ATCH FOR OUR LIVE SHOWS ONCE A MONTH'

2821 EL CAMINO REAL

REDWOOD CITY

ONLY GAY
MARRIEDS

A graduate student in
the School of Social Work
at Sacramento State College
is working toward a poten¬
tial Master*s Thesis on
gay 'marriages* in an ef-
fo^^t to scientifically de¬
monstrate the positive and
healthy benefits of such
relationships with an eye
toward increasing society's
acceptance of Gay Life, She
has developed a question¬
naire and is now seeking
to administer this to
couples who are presently
involved in a relationship
which has been in existence
for 3 years or longer. Vol¬
unteers who are willing to
complete the questionnaire
either drop a card or call

(916) 383-7185.

All replies will be held
strictly confidential and
all responses will be anon¬
ymous. She would greatly
appreciate your help as the
success of the project is
dependent upon the cooper¬
ation of the respondents.
P.A. Kauftnan
School of Social Work
Sacramento State College
6000 Jay Street
Sacramento, Calif, 95819

COMMUNITY OF

ST. JOHN THE BELOVED
A Catholic Worker Commune Serving the
Homophile Community of San Francisco
SERVICES:

Free Meals
Free Clothing
Overnight Housing
Employment Help
Draft Counseling
Housing Aid
Medical Referals
Legal Referals
Pastoral Counseling
Religious Services

Society Of Priests For A Free Ministry

Robert J. Richards
Priest

Telephone;
(415) 431-1541

THE

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842 Valencia Street

Dinners SEVEN Nights a Week

SUNDAY BRUNCH 11:00 A.M. to 3:30 P.M.
Reservation Phone Number — 826-3373

WHO GETS VDi

Human beings who make
love with other infected
human beings, regardless
of race, census tract, pro¬
fession, age, marital sta¬
tus or sexual orientation,
can get infected with a
venereal disease. In short,
the venereal diseases are
equal opportunity diseases.
They are sexual accidents
and there should be no more
stigma attached to them
than to the fractured tibia
resulting from a skiing
accident; but we still bad-
mouth GC and Syphilis. In¬
deed, in spite of sexual
permissiveness, militancy,
promiscuity, and liberalism,
the San Francisco City Cli¬
nic (at 250 Fourth Street),
after more than 30 years of
existance, does not proclaim
itself a V.D. Clinic - there
being no indication of such
on its building or doors.

Sixty-five thousand nor¬
mal (for the sexual drive
is a normal, healthy, in¬
herited biologic process
like himger, thirst, etc.)
persons visited that free
facility in 1970, 8^ of
which were non-residents of
San Francisco.

What can we do about the
current local and national
epidemic?

(1) We can go to our pri¬
vate physicians or free cli¬
nics in our communities if
we have symptoms or have
been sexually exposed to an
infected sex partner.

( 2 ) If we are diagnosed, .
we can see that our contacts
are brought to examination
or treatment UNDER MEDICAL
SUPERVISION. It is impracti¬
cal to tell your friends to
see a doctor. Many of them

won’t, or if they do go, they
may not get the proper care.
It is the Health Department
who should see that they get
the proper examination and
treatment at the Clinic or
doctor of their choice.

( 3 ) We can urinate imme¬
diately after sexual contacts.
This will "wash” many of the
Gonorrhea germs out of the
urethera and minimize the
chance of an infection. Wash¬
ing the genital area might
minimize the possibility of
catching Syphilis.

(U) We can wear a rubber
(condom). If we're the re¬
ceptor, insist that our part¬
ner wear one, ("No deposit,
no return").

What has the Gay Commun¬
ity contributed to the con¬
trol of V.D? Starting with
the "L.C.E. News" and "Mat-
tachine Review", V.D. arti¬
cles were printed. Officers
of the Mattachine Society
oriented and helped train
Public Health V.D. person¬
nel. The Tavern Guild of
San Francisco and S.I.R.
have rendered financial as¬
sistance (V.D. pamphlets,
posters). The Tavern Guild
of San Francisco and its
customers contributed the
waiting room chairs in the

LOIMGHORN CLUB

NOW OPEN
FOR SWIMMING

Mon-Thurs 8pm-4:30am
Fri, Sat, Sun 12noon-5am

(in daylight hours ONLY,
trunks are required)

new Clinic. The Tavern Guild
of San Francisco recently
purchased a V.D. Training
Film to be shown in the
San Francisco Public Schools.
S.I.R. currently gives (the
Clinic) a free ad in their
monthly publication of "Vec¬
tor", just as this newspaper,
"B.A.R." does. Free V.D.
Booths have been donated by
C.M.C. and the Tavern Guild
for their Carnivals. In turn,
what has the V.D. Clinic
done for you? They have
tried to run a confidential,
non-judgmental, good medical
facility for you, the tax¬
payer. They have given free¬
ly of their off duty time.
They have not always suc¬
ceeded, for they too are
hirnian beings and are deal¬
ing in a commodity YOU don't
want. Gonorrhea and Syphilis.

It would appear at times,
some of you don't want to
get rid of it either.

San Francisco Clinic
250 Fourth Street
Venereal Disease Examination

Free — Confidential

Mon., Thurs. 9:30 - 6:00
Tues., Wed., Fri. 8:00-4:00

Telephone: 558-3804

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FREE ADMISSION

with this coupon

GOOD UNTIL May 20, 1971

COVERED WAGON

278 Eleventh St.

San Francisco

Young and naive, they
soon become aware of the
predator:/- opportunists who
peimieate their world of
soul brotherhood. For as
\as they have exposed
-.}— elves totthe world,

still have been rather
sheltered from it. It
: , V •; all a world of Zap
^ 1 ..'ow. hike, it*s full
bummers and bad trips
ar'-, senseless petty crime,
'■a:-.: handouts to strange
’■irothers and sisters soon
i'c-rlete their finances.
Witch soon lots her Moon
in Scorpio, her cool-cookie
realism, come to the fore,
and she delivers a speech
to a handout seeker about
how asking for handouts is
undermining the movement.

Then they meet Sally
Sunflower while thej^- are
all waiting for money from
home at the Western Union,
Sally has marched every¬
where and knows all the big
names in the hip movement.
She takes them home with
her to a communal apartment
on Canal Street. This apart¬
ment comprises three floors
over a store. It is rented
by Peter who is a drop-out
psycho-analyst, and his
former patient Doris. They
are away in California, but
there are others there to
greet them and take them
in. With some security,
Witch-Gloria now begins her
search for her father.

With Sally’s help. Hank
Gliss is soon found teach¬
ing history in a junior

successfully, they must
change their names. Gloria's
real father was Hank Glyc-
zwycz. Gliz Witch backwards
becomes Witch Gliz, formerly
Gloria, arid John becomes Hoy

WORLD

mm

J. O.
MILLER

The Season of the Witch, by

James Leo Herlihy. Simon and
Schuster, Publisher. $6.95

analyst. He, too, has had
every advantage, A special
lair in his home is his a-
lone, filled with all the
books and records of today.

A housekeeper who likes her
job has been coerced into
cooneration. It is in this
lair that Gloria turns John
on to pot when they are six¬
teen. John, however, is gay,
and since they do not turn
each other on physically,
their high helps them e-
volve a special relation¬
ship to fit the empty holes
in their lives. Gloria sees
that she is John’s Earth
Mother, and he is her guru.

The most pressing and
immediate problems of their
'.'■oung lives are the disas¬
ters of the world, war and
famine and not enough love.
John is daily expecting a
sijinmons to appear for a pre-
induction physical. They do
not want him to go off to
war and kill beautiful Vi¬
etnamese. The only solution
is to go underground, run
away to New York, run away
to Canada, On the day he
gets his notice to appear,
they impulsively decide to
run away to New York.

Off they go by Greyhound
bus. Deeply involved in the
trauma of running away from
home, John studies a map of
New York and memorizes the
names of the streets while
Gloria writes and writes in
her diary, for she is some¬
day going to be a writer.

Everyone who read ’Mid¬
night Cowboy' or saw the
movie will expect any book
by James Leo Herlihy to be
a very different type of
novel. Any book by this
author is sure to treat a
modern story in a special
light, with familiarity,
and with sympathy that is
not blind.

The witch of the title
role is Gloria Random, se¬
venteen, brought up in an
affluent Detroit Suburb
with all the opportunities
to herald and investigate
all the props of the Aquar¬
ian Age. She is a child of
her times, lively, inter¬
ested, ready for any new
experience, and clinically
honest in assessing her
own reactions.

Back when she was twelve
years.old, an Uncle, in¬
fluenced by too much al-
chohol, lets the skeleton
out of the closet, Gloria
is her mother’s love child
by a Polish-«Towish refugee
college professor. As many
another girl in similar cir¬
cumstances, she decides
that someday she is going
to find and meet her real
father.

The boy next door is her
special friend. John is the

the end-product of that age
when the enlightened car¬
ried party cards, organized
strikes for oppressed labor.
He was a member of the
thinking youth of forty
years ago, which makes him
older than the story re¬
quires. But he is given a
voice in the story which
is not too often heard now¬
adays. It is not the voice
of the up-tight parent or
the half-dead money-grub¬
bing parent. But his, and
all the voices, have pre¬
viously appeared in history
and in literature, and we
are hardly removed from
Alice in Wonderland.

Witch-Gloria sees her
world without pity for her¬
self. She sees it when it
is groovy and the vibes are
right, and she sees it when
she is being just a bit
phoney. Her diary packs a
punch which is left some¬
what open-ended. But, then,
only in the books of yester¬
year were there pat endings
where everyone lived hap¬
pily ever after. The blurb
writers have described Her-
lihy as the first of the
Aquarian novelists, but his
book would not be half so
good if it did not have the
firm roots it has in past
literature. For he has
achieved all the irony and
verisimilitude which makes
a novel of importance and
impact.

A Rage for Opera , its ana¬
tomy as drawn from life, by
Robert Lawrence. Published
by Dodd, Mead and Co, $5.95

Artificially elegant but
artistic in all its facets,
the world of opera, with its
classic roots, is a world

_

unlike any other. Its thea¬
tricality and its music are
so stylized that even its
audiences are special. People
who go into raptures over
opera are too often not
really considering the opera
in all its facets. Only the
very unimaginative or the
very tired could fall asleep
and risk missing a rare high-
spot or a moment when all the
arts of opera are suddenly
at a balanced peak of per¬
fection.

So much criticism of
opera is based on prejudice
against high style, ignor¬
ance of the elements of o-
■pera, or evolves in plain
nonsense. To opera fans who
get their opera on the Sat¬
urday Matinee Broadcasts,
the author's name is fami¬
liar. Robert Lawrence is a
conductor and teacher and
has long been a knowing
commentator. He has also
long been on the panel of
intermission quiz experts.

His experience in opera
goes back some fifty years,
beginning in the Old Met
and working under several
opera managers and with
many, many great singers.

Yet he has not written a
book of reminiscences or
previously untold back
stage anecdotes, nor does
he seek to interpret opera.

On the other hand, his
book is not one of heavy
criticism. It is £in urbane
dissection of the elements
which make up that world.

It discusses the audiences,
conductors, producers and
designers, and the impre¬
sarios. And he discusses
the repertoire and the
singers. There is no par¬
ticular axe to grind. It .
is simply his well-loved
world, and he is seeking
to make it fully understood.

-1

The center of the book
has a collection of pic¬
tures of some fifty sing¬
ers. Those he loves and
has sincere affection for
are numerous. Nilsson,
Ponselle and Flagstad he
especially admires. The
esteemed include Milanov,
Warren and Price. The sing¬
ers he views with reflec¬
tion are Tebaldi, Horne,
Merril and Corelli. With
Maria Callas he is at com¬
plete empathy.

No matter how knowledg-
able one may be about o-
pera, this delightful book
is one book which will
prove both interesting and
enjoyable. Yet it is a
book for the amateur and
the record collector. One
does not have to be a mu¬
sic graduate to enjoy the
author's smooth and witty
commentaries which make
this book relaxing reading.

BERT’S CARPETS
and INTERIORS

‘Something wild and
different for the home’

580 VALENCIA

199 VllElfCIl ST.
993-9952

HOW

S 5 ®®®

DAHCERS

iH A mm

%ftAftW%W/WWSWA/VWWVWV^ ^

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dsHGipig

YOUR ROSTS:
Hans, John, Dick
& Dorothy Kilgallen

by Roger Thomas

Peninsulites who want to
be cocktailed early can do
so inexpensively now at
the "Cruiser" and "A Tin¬
ker's Damn". Both bars
sport cocktail hours from
noon to 7 P.M,.,The second-
of two very socially splashy
Peninsulites as found him¬
self at odds with the law.

He seems to have confused
the childhood lesson of
the importance of stretch¬
ing money with the lesson
about not bouncing checks.
Wonder if the Princess Ro-
yale will succeed in re-
treiving her wigs, etc.
from the jailed man's a-
nartment. It seems that
everything in the apart¬
ment was confiscated,
whether his or not...An

The Editors wish to offer
their apology for some
photos that were run in a
prior issue. No damage was
intended nor meant, again
our sincerest apologies.

%_^

i«t^^KicUo*t Mil

AVAILABLE IN

HARMONY-THEORY
^PIANOand WOODWINDS^

REASONABLE RATES
DAYS or EVENINGS

’ 62t-S?4S\

exhuberant young man re¬
ports that 5th Ave. in
Redwood City has become
an increasingly more in¬
teresting place to walk
if you happen to be four¬
teen years old. Apparently,
on several occassions an
'old man' (nicknamed "the
Mad Hacker") has stopped
boys in that age range on
the street and insisted
that they stand there and
watch as he unzips him¬
self and, how do you say,
"abuses" himself...The
Peninsula Gay Switchboard
wishes to inform the
'breathless' caller that
the telephone is one of
his social mediums, not
his sex medium. His sex
medium is his lover...

Perhaps the man on 5th Ave.
and the 'breathless' cal¬
ler should contact the
Switchboard for one of the
services available through
it.' Namely Psychiatric
help. Joel has the names
and addresses of two psy¬
chiatrists. There are al¬
so several gay bars on the
Peninsula if you're horny...
The two Redwood City events
last weekend were both fun
and well-attended. Many
people, however, wonder why
the presence of Grande Duch¬
ess Co-co was not acknow¬
ledged when microphone an¬
nouncements were made ac¬
knowledging the presence of
the other members of the
Royal Court. Co-co is petite,
fellows, not invisible...

The Beer Hive in Redwood City
is now operating under new
management. All the posters
I've seen indicate that
everyone is welcome...The
Cabaret celebrates its 1st
anniversary April 29th, 30th
and May 1st. There's to be
a different show each night
starring Gabby, Bashka eoid
a 'surprise entertainer'.

V/hat bar o^■mer lost his
lover to a Minister, and the
Minister and new lover had
to get a Restraining Order
against the bar owner so
he would leave them alone?
Something to do with new
chairs or thrones for the
Coronation....Recent Empress:
"Well, 1*11 see you later.

I have to go bail out Reba
and Bella." Better get Reba,
it'll cost less...Big sur¬
prise today, FLASH! How
many people know that Perry
for Empress used to be
Sweetlips* lover way back
in 19^7? Well, how old does
that make her? Or which one
was getting out of Service
at that time?...Uh-o, those
pretty boys that go down¬
stairs at the Kokpit aren't
Sweetlips' tricks, they're
making drapes in the base¬
ment. FOOLED AGAIN, Ha-ha!
...Well, this week I had
the most wonderful dinner
at the 'Page I'. Monty is
cooking there now and the
food can't be beat. You
can't find a better priced
menu. Try their Stuffed
Prawns, they're out of
sight...Bob Ross never had
his ear pierced because he's
a bleeder...Someone has been
calling Mike at Grandma's
House, groaning and so
forth. Of course, Mike asked
him if he wanted his body,
and it made things worse.

Sex on the phone?...Is it
true that Mother Voodoo
can't use his title in Port¬
land?...Ever hear of Ky.
Chicken? (See the Colonel)
...By the way, Bella, they
accept Master Charge at
Grandma's House...Who will
be the first drag to ride

Bart?...At Gordon's (now
Sandy's Saloon), there is
a painting of Sandy in his
Office, with the caption
'Our Founder"...A show this
Sunday at the EXIT - 7:30
and 10:00 P.M. The EXIT is
Oakland's only after hours
place on Friday and Satur¬
day - with dancing, pool
and food...Latest people
seen on their knees at
Church were Perry eind Voodoo.

I Metropolitan
“T Community
' Church

CALIFORNIA HALL
Corner of Turk & Polk

San Francisco
SUNDAY 1:00 PM Church Services

ALL ARE WELCOME
For Information Call 775-2379

SERVING the HOMOPHILE COMMUNITY

JUC3S

2099 MARKET ST
AT CHURCH

LIQUORS

WINES

DIRTY BOOKS

PRESENTS THEIR
NEW LOCATION

458 POST ST

HAROLDS

UN HIMKISCO’S NEWfST FUN BAR

GRAND OPENJNfG TUESDAY APRIL 11th.
4PM TIL ? ? - BUFFET
DOOR PRIZES

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743 LARKIN between Ellis and O’farrell 673-6820

ASTROLOGY by El Scorzp

PROMISES or FORECASTS?!

Much is cromised for
this coming weekend. We
end a month and begin £Ui-
other. With daylight
saving time, the days are
longer. So the cocktail
hour is longer, and peo¬
ple will be crowding
dinner into the later
'hours or forgetting to
eat, not wanting to dine
by daylight.

The weekend begins
with the Moon in Cancer,
strongest in its own sign.
PJvery feeling and emotion
is <;ha»"g-d with value,
and every experience is
of importance. Everyone
wants to care and to
cherish, and will desire
the same in return. Any¬
one born with the Moon in
Cancer will be subject to
moods of a kindly and
easy-going and sociable
nature, but not too will¬
ing to make any special
exertion.

Friday evening the
Moon will be opposite
Mars. Mars is in Capri¬
corn and gives the will
power some basis in sol¬
idity. But with the Moon
opposition, moving things
around, one needs reason¬
able control of the pas¬
sionate nature. If the
sense of responsibility
is well developed, things
will be fine Friday even¬
ing. Give praise where it
is deserved, and show sin¬
cere appreciation. More
flies are caught with

honey.

Saturday morning the
Moon is well aspected to
Neptune and then to Jupi¬
ter. Most people will
probably still be asleep
during the earlier Neptune
aspect, lliey can expect
dreams of the wish-ful¬
fillment variety. But
arise a little early and
get the show on the road.
Put your plans into oper¬
ation by eight o’clock in
the morning, and you are
more likely to make some
gains in whatever you
choose to do.

Saturday evening begins
a little early. Just after
eight in the evening,

Venus will be opposite the
planet Uranus. With this
opposition, it is not too
wise to operate on intui¬
tion. Venus will be in
Aries, and Uranus in Libra.
This is an aspect which
brings magnetic sexual at¬
tractions and inclines one
to speculate and take some
risks. It is possible to
be too impulsive, but some
do find love at first
sight. There is an abso¬
lute craving for romantic
adventure, A few minutes
later, the Moon and Venus
are in good aspect, and
consideration and kindness
may be found,

Sunday should be easy
enough all day long, with
possible exceptions for
Taureans, Scorpios, and
Aquarians. The Moon will

be in Leo both Saturday
and Sunday, There is a
fine lunar aspect with
Mercury, and Mercury is
slowing down preparing to
change direction. The
Mercury aspect with the
Moon will give wit and
repartee, much very bright
talk, and good insight.

But insight will be even
better on Monday when Mer¬
cury goes direct. The
doings of younger people
ought to occupy Sunday’s
early hours.

Do not, however, make
an effort to stay up and
see the change in Mer¬
cury’s direction Sunday
evening (actually in the
wee hours of Monday), for
you will find yourself
running the risk of a poor
Moon to Saturn aspect.
Conscience is bound to re¬
bel around midnight. Sa¬
turn, which represents
the sense of duty, will
be overruled by the fluc¬
tuations of the Moon,

This aspect makes for dis¬
trust, reserve, and dis¬
content, It might be best
to avoid this moody aspect.

ARIES : Friday is no day to
make any serious changes,
especially for those born
in the latter ten days of
Aries. Be social this
weekend, for Venus is in
Aries, but be prepared for
some tensions. Sunday,
which will be the best day,
can also have its little
annoyances. But you will
be sensitive to the moods
of others and may ride
through this more easily,

TAURUS : Pay proper atten¬
tion to routine and give
things time to work out for
themselves on Friday. Sat¬
urday is a fine day for
family and home affairs.

Sunday should be a day of
rest, improving as the day
goes on to evening, Saturn
is in Taurus.

GEMINI ; Generally the whole
weekend will be fine. Fri¬
day you will relax only with
relaxing people, so find
them. Saturday will be a
very busy and a very social
day. Keep your eyes open
for unusual reactions a-
round you, Sunday will be
best devoted to personal
life, to planning a trip,
to writing letters, or to
study.

CANCER : Use your best judg¬
ment and do not allow your¬
self to be bullied on Friday
and it will be your best
day. There is a good pos¬
sibility of gain on Satur¬
day . Watch home develop¬
ments and expenditures.

LEO : Handle private affairs
on Friday with kid gloves
and be careful Friday even¬
ing. Plan to have fun on
Saturday, but do not travel
and do not write. Although
Sunday starts out in low
gear, it will improve into
your best day. Devote your¬
self to personal interests.

VIRGO : Listen to everyone^s
side of the story on Friday
and be sympathetic. It will
be your best day. Saturday
and Sunday should be devoted
to rest and quiet. Watch
both health and money. Some¬
one may cause upheavals on
Sunday, but any news should
be good news,

LIBRA : Friday and Saturday
have their tensions. Do not
stay angry with stupid peo¬
ple, If you devote Satur¬
day to your friends, do not
upset your partner. Sunday
will be a fun day, but if
you let it last too late.

you are sure to meet with
limitations,

SCORPIO : Anything other than
a positive attitude on Fri¬
day will ruin your day for
you. Watch your obligations
on Saturday, and downplay
your social life and roman¬
tic inclinations. If you
keep yourself firmly in mind
on Sunday, you may be able
to build your personal pres¬
tige.

SAGITTARIUS : This is your
weekend to show interest in
other people. Prepare and
plan for this weekend. So¬
cial life is good on Satur¬
day, but watch out for
touchiness. Do a little
more listening on Sunday.

You make a better impres¬
sion that way,

CAPRICORN : This is your
weekend for other people.

Do not push. If you do

not get your way, do not
get angry. The focus is
on the people around you.
Sunday be conservative in
your behaviour and watch
your finances.

AQUARIUS : Help people out
on Friday, but get home
early. Avoid upsetting
those around you on Satur¬
day, for they are going to
be upset in some way. Go
out and socialize on Sunday
to avoid stay at home mood¬
iness ,

PISCES : Do not make demands
on Friday for more freedom
than you ought to have. Fri¬
day will be a good day. Be
cheerful on Saturday, also
helpful, but not financially
helpful. You may not feel
well on Sunday morning, but
perk up and do all the things
you are supposed to do. The
day improves with accomplish-
menx.,and you may be rewarded.

"CmSTAL'S PALACE OF FINE ARTS"

MASTER CRAFTSMEN & DESIGNERS
OF CUSTOM FRAMING

TUESthruFRI 10to7 SAT 10 to 6

J542 POLK _ 673-3879^

^4utttce ‘THcCdnecC’^ (^ocifunet

The professional

You lovely people that
have chosen to serve the
public. Remember, the choice
lies with you, you have
placed yourself in the po¬
sition of servant. However,
one should never, when serv¬
ing the public, allow them¬
selves to be condescending,
for this is a profession of
which you can be proud. A
professional is a man who
can deal with any group of
people and do it with grace
and ease.

Remember what that *toke*,
*tip' or ’gratuity* is all
about. Many times the people
who leave it are not even-
sure why. Some people tip
because of a person’s looks
or appeareuice or the way he
acts. I believe that a tip
should be based on ’service’
(helpful act or acts - con¬
duct that is useful to o-
thers); knowing what you
are doing and doing it so
that the people you are
serving are at ease.

It doesn’t matter how
many plates you can carry,
if you can’t do it with ease
and comfort, carry less. If
a man orders a Martini, I
believe it’s rude to assume
that he wants it on the
rocks, simply because it’s
faster and easier. The ri¬
tual of the presentation
of wine for some people can
be a bore, but as long as
they are paying the tab, we
have to go by the rules.

If you can’t find a little
joy or pleasure in your
work, you either have been

doing it too long or you
have chosen the wrong occu¬
pation, Being able to take
all the knowledge that you
accumulate, and develop a
manner which only experience
can bring. To put it all to¬
gether and make it work with
dignity, not so much for you
alone, but for others that
are in the industry auid, of
course, the people that you
are serving.

Bayou Lounge

Drove down the Peninsula
last week and had a very
nice dinner at the Bayou
Lounge, It is always, I
think, a bit more difficult
to be "on your toes" when
business is quiet. Most of
us work a lot better when
it is busy, but ’oh’ how
aware the customer becomes
of everything when it is
quiet.

The Bayou has a nice,
interesting menu. I feel
they are making a great ef¬
fort for the dinner action
on the Peninsula, They serve
an onion soup in a little
individual tureen which is
very effective. The salad
I felt was fair and the
dressing was good. They
have a couple of different
items on the menu. A Shrimp
Kabob which was very good,
aind an Escargot served as
an entree in a giant mush¬
room, which I must say
sounds and looks better than
is tasted. It did not quite
come off, but they are cer¬
tainly on the right track.
The room is quite nice, with
a dance floor nearby. Of
course, when we were there.

it was during the week and
the Dining Room was quiet.

We had a California wine and
a round of drinks and the
tab was about $20 for four.
The service was good.

Saturday Brunch at the
Page I was a nice experience.
Their Brunch Menu is quite
extensive, and very reason¬
able - yod even get a Fizz.
Their prices are from $1.25
to $1.75. If you have not
seen the Page I, it is a
very San Francisco type rcoui,
beautifully done. And Freddy
in the kitchen does a very j
good job. * i

I would like to bring
something to your attention.
Everywhere you go you hear
people talking about the
cost of living. I am sure
that most of you have beep
to the market and have seen
how little a dollar buys.

When you go out to dinner,
give this a thought: the res¬
taurant is caught in the mid¬
dle. Wholesale prices have
never been higher and taxes
on food and beverages are at
an all-time high. Along with
insurance rates, wages, and
the benefits that go with
them, are up considerably.

For many years, a lot of
our restaurants were happy
to break even on their food
sales. But they had the liq¬
uor sales in their bar to
make the whole thing worth
while. Now, we have a situ¬
ation where more and more
bars open and so the custo¬
mer that used to sit around
and have before dinner cock¬
tails euid after dinner drinks
now has many places to go
for ’dessert’. The profit
margin for the food houses
gets slimmer and slimmer.

So what happens? For survi¬
val, you find some houses
going for 99<^ dinners, free

after dinner drinks, two for
one drinks and other gimicks.
Quality just doesn't happen
by accident, it takes choice
cuts of meat and other pro¬
ducts prepared by people
that know what they are do¬
ing to bring you a descent
meal.

You may say to yourself
that it is not your concern,
and be happy to see the
'price war' in some of our
restaurants. But look at it
this way. 100^ of the people
employed by gay bars and
restaurants are our people.

If a house does not survive,
that means that our Homo-
phile unemployment will go
up or wages will be cut.

Only you, the customer, can
let the people in the in-
dust^ know how you feel by
supporting the ones that
give you a good meal, at
a fair price and in a clean
atmosphere, served well.

I believe in the Homo-
phile dollar. If it's the
'Left Bank' for a framing
job, or the 'Town Squire'
or 'Casual Man' for clothes
or 'Jugs Liquors' for booze.
I reisonally will spend my
money with my own kind. We
should all make an affort
to find out 'who*, 'where*
and 'what* the Homophile
Community has to offer, for
we every day are becoming
freer and have a more power¬
ful voice in the whole com-
miinity. Our economic power
has a lot to do with it.

Sad to report that until
further notice 'Gold Street*
will no longer be serving
food; and edso 'Sandy's*,
formerly 'Gordon's*. They
will, however, be open for
business.

Aove,

cyiN EVENING OUT

C:7.ari.na Gaily the First

Mr. Tyrone

Stopped by the Mint on
the way to the Peninsula
Sunday, They were having
a fashion show emceed by
the one and only Michelle.
Needless to say, the bar
was Jammed. The clothes
were quite interesting,
but the models were some¬
thing else. Michelle was
in good spirits and it was
a shame we couldn’t stay
longer to listen to his
marvelous repartee.

We arrived at the Bayou
Lounge in the middle of
their first anniversary
party. The bar was really
Jumping. We sat around and
chatted, then partook of
their excellent buffet.
After settling ourselves
down, we waited for the
floorshow to begin. While
chatting with Sally the
First, we heard the Conch
Shells blowing. This her¬
alded the arrival of the
Grand Czarina Gabrielle
and the Chief of the Sand¬
wich Islands and their
respective Courts. When
the Royal Parties were

seated, the show began.

The star of the show. Storm,
opened with an excellent
pantomime and was rewarded
with a hearty round of ap¬
plause. Storm was ably as¬
sisted by the popular dan¬
cers, Dallas and Lucky, and
by another favorite, Lori
Shannon. The fifth member
of the show was new to this
writer, a Mr. Tyrone. He
performed quite well and
we hope to see more of him
in the future. Despite a
little trouble with the
sound system,the performers
and dancers rose to the
occasion suid gave the aud¬
ience their best. After the
first show broke, we decided
to visit some of the other
Peninsula bars we hadn't
yet been to. Our thanks to
Fred and his crew for a
nice, warm, fun-filled
evening.

For this trip, we en¬
listed the assistance of
Lou Greene as our tour
director. The first stop
we made was at the Savoy
in Cupertino, This is a
warm, friendly bar, pre¬
sided over by some of the
nicest gals I have ever
met. Contrary to some ru¬
mors, this is not an all
girls bar. This was pro¬
ven by the fact that there
were more guys than gals.
They have a nice dance
floor and, although we
haven't yet had dinner
here, serve excellent food
as attested to by the pa¬
trons. Trying to get Diki,
the Royal «Jester, off the
pool table took some doing,
but we managed only to find
that Johnnie, the First
Lady in Waiting to Cristal,

The gals from the Savoy

I

Grand Czarina Gabrielle and

had found romance on the
dance floor. Bo we decided
to have another drink (and
a free Sunday night hot
dog) before we went on.

Our next stop was "A
Tinker's Damn" in Santa
Clara, Talk about a bar
full of good-looking people,
it was Seventh Heaven for
this 6-pak of Jaded roue's.
Right off the bat Johnnie
was on stage dancing with
some number while Diki was
in the Billiard lounge
shooting a game of pool
surrounded by a group of
admirers. I later found
out he bought them all
drinks to keep them near¬
by. This is quite a large
bar, with friendly help
and some of the most cour¬
teous service we have
ever had. As we were
ready to go, we discovered
that we had lost Ray of the
Covered Wagon. Last we had
seen him he was busy handing
out passes to his evening
swim parties. We finally
located him over in a dark
corner with a new found
friend. He told us to be on
our way as he had his own
transportation back, V7e
missed Ray on our trip back

friends

Jon and Diki exchange bites

Hoping to see you all on
our next evening out!

Lori Shannon

to Redwood City, and the
Czarina de Miracle Mile
would like to know where
to deliver the half-eaten
cold Pizza he left in her
car?

Back to Redwood City and
the Cabaret, our last stop
of the evening. The bar was
still Jumping from their
evening's festivities. As
it was close to the witching
hour, we only had time for
a drink, and Johnnie found
time for 10 dances. Le Ca¬
baret is still one of the
Peninsula’s fun places and

we think it should be a must
on anyone's Peninsula tour,
Monte, the genial host here,
invited what was left of
our group out to breakfast.
Talk about blowing minds as
we walked into this straight
coffee shop. The waitress,
who was ninety, was a camp.
She thought the girls were
in show biz ( she asked
Johnnie if he was a stripper
and proceeded to tell us
all about her days in Vaude¬
ville. Can't understand how
Johnnie and Diki can keep
those 'Faye Raye* waists of
theirs - 3 orders of Blue¬
berry pancakes each heaped
with whipped cream apiece.

We almost got ill Just watch-
them stow all that goop
away. It was a weary crew
that returned to the City
at 5:00 A.M.). But we had
such a fun night we decided
must do it again, and
soon. Thanks again to all
of our gracious hosts and
their employees for a fine
evening.

TWO ON THE AISLE by Jay Noonan

THE TRIP BACK

Nos-tal-fria/l. Return home,
2, Wistful yearning for
something past or irrecover¬
able, 3. Homesickness,

In this year of grace,
1971 , vith cocktail lounges
in the sky and a Colonel
Saunders at every bend in
the road, what is this pre¬
occupation with looking back
over our shoulders at other
times and other places? Are
these voyages back into the
past necessary? You bet ev¬
ery last Wheaties box-top
they are! Nostalgia is
sweeping the country faster
than you can say, "Oh, you
kid!" or "23 skidoo!"

Going on a nostalgic
journey is a simple and u-
sually pleasant experience.
Climbing the stairs to the
attic, looking in that old
trunk in the closet, watch¬
ing Katherine Hepburn in
"Bill of Divorcement" on the
late show - each has its own
special moment of time. But
if you lack an attic or a
trunk or even a "telly", you
don’t have to be left out.
Journey quickly to the Savoy-
Tivoli and there, beyond the

potted palms in the upper
bar, is your passport to
memories via a revue called
"Four on the Floor", which
navigates through the songs
of Irving Berlin, Noel Cow¬
ard, Cole Porter and others
to present its version of
"Memory Lane".

The show is broken-down
into three segments: the
songs of Irving Berlin, songs
of the "Talkies" and a med¬
ley of Noel Coward, All have
their own special charm and
Don Sheffey has done a first-
rate job in selecting,
searching and securing the
fine material. All four
people do an excellent job
of interpreting each song
period.

Mr. Sheffey and Larry
Vincent are the musical
accompanists on the twin
grand and also join-in on
production and their own
specialty niombers.

Kenneth Morgan and Elinor
Anderson do most of the vo¬
calizing, Mr. Morgan has
just enough Dick Powell in
his voice to make you laugh
and” maybe even sigh a little

and it takes some of us back
to "dish night" at the old
neighborhood Bijou. He also
has an exceptional ear for
interpreting a lyric-line of
a song. Coward’s "We Were
Dancing" was superb as was
"Brother, Can You Spare a
Dime?" from a Busby Berkley
epic. Miss Anderson fills
in the other half of the vo¬
calizing with just the right
amount of rub'Ber in her face
and sweetness in her voice
that makes each song a de¬
light to the ear and also
fracture your "funny bone",
such as Berlin’s "Everybody’s
Out of Step But Jim" which
brought heaps of laughter.
Between acts (as there is a
continuous entertainment pol¬
icy), Miss Anderson does so¬
los of little dittys. One
song about the Emporium was
a sheer delight. Her pronun¬
ciation of words are also
great fun (How does one pro¬
nounce "arcade" or is it "ar-
COD"?).

"Four on the Floor" is
the name of this happy group
and entertainment is the name
of their game. They should
pack the Savoy-Tivoli for,
months to come as these

PUEft

ffiMRKE^

*EMPTY YOUR CLOSETS*

MAY 1 and MAY 2

(Sat. 1-9 Sun. 11-6)

muES

COILECIUIES

Jims
OUEI D’ABI
aoieniE
FBINET JIM

BOOTHS AVAILABLE
for complete information
call DO 2-2696

2237 POWELL STREET (at Bay)

Club Dori

THE NEIGHBORHOOD BAR
WHERE EVERYONE IS WELCOME

427 Presidio WE 1-5896

people cavort and create il¬
lusion.

This brings me to my one
negative thought on their
show: going back in time and
the creating of illusions
can be great (or as Ruby
Keeler might say, "simply
grand"), but while watch¬
ing the parade of songs, I
felt they had left something
out - the illusion was not
complete, such as when Mr.
Morgan announces a Fred A-
staire song. Top-hat and
cane are immediately thought
of, but it wasn't forthcom¬
ing. VThy not an old army
hat for Miss Anderson and
Mr. Vincent in "Everybody's
Out of Step..." and "You Can
Still Find a Little Sunshine
At the Y.M.C.A."? Since we
are dealing in songs of the
20 's and 30*s, why the mod
dress. Miss Anderson? And
why not a tux for Mr. Mor¬
gan? These are minor triv¬
ialities, but if you take
us back, take us back all
the way arid complete the
memory.

With all kinds of trips
being taken these days, I
think this one will be most
enjoyed and with nothing
but good after-effects.

Trips may be taken any Thurs¬
day, Friday or Saturday eve¬
ning, commencing at about
9 : 00 .

on the

SAN FRANCISCO S
NEWEST
DINING ROOM

RESERVATION PHONE:

885-1114

DINNER 7 NIGHTS A WEEK,
5 to 11 pm

SUNDAY BRUNCH, 11 to 4 pm

COCKTAIL HOUR, 3 until 7 pm

(Hot and Cold Hors'd oeuvres)

at the corner of....

POLK and CLAY

SAN FRANCISCO

Gertie’s Glamour and
Advice to the Lovelorn

One of the easiest things
to catch in restrooms, or
just by^ being near someone
that has them, is crabs.

They jump from one person
to another or can be found
on walls of restrooms. If
you think you can pick them
off and smash them with
your fingernails, forget it.
You'll never get them all
that way. Once they lay
eggs on the hair, they hook
them so tight, so close to
the skin, you just can't
see them unless you are in
the bright sunlight with
your pants down. Sometimes,
in bad cases, people have
them under the arras and in
eye brows or eyelashes. To

get rid of them is very
simple and costs about 370*
I'm not trying to give you
the cheapest method, but
the best way. Campho-Phen-
ique Liquid comes in a
small green bottle and can
be found in almost any
store that has Band Aids,
Now don't get excited...,
it doesn't say anything
about Crabs on the label,
but it will kill them all
and the eggs in one appli¬
cation. It has a very cool
feel when you put it on,
so rub it all over and get
it good. After it has been
on for about 5 to 10 min¬
utes, take a good shower
and say good-bye to Crabs
for months. One treatment
will be sufficient if you
don't miss ainy spots when
you put it on. A certain
amount of the oil goes in
the skin and Crabs won't
come near you for months.
Why go around for several
days with several of the
slow treatments that have
to be put on several times?
Remember, it's no sin to
catch them - but it is to
keep them.

If you have any advice
you would like to share
with our readers, please
drop me a line and maybe
we can write a column on it.

El ScoRp

S700

Will cast your horoscope & furnish your astrological
chart with a key to its symbols. No interpretations.

Name:

Male Female

Address:

City:

Date of birth:

Time:

Place:

Make checks payable to EL SCORP, Bay Area Reporter,
1550 Howard Street, San Francisco, California 9^103

Sweetlips is entering
Jackson’s Roller Derby this
year. The event takes place
in June, and remember. Fern
challenges all!

Everyone had better start
marking their calenders -
Sunday, the 23rd of May -
FIRST TAVERN GUILD PICNIC,
HURRAY!

Seems as if a famous oil
tycoon and former bar/res-
taurant owner of Sausalito
has moved to S.F, - hope he
can navigate the hills here
with his glass of Vodka as
he did there.

How come the aging Wilted
Flower Lady was being hand-
fed Blueberry and whipped
cream pancakes after hours
on the Peninsula by Diki?

Thank Cristal for all
the info on the qualifica¬
tions for Empress candidates,
thank God no age limit,

Perry.

What Dowager San Fran¬
cisco landmark, a legend
in her own time, was seen
on Monday afternoon last -
dirty, unshaved, hair hang¬
ing down in front of her
eyes, DRUNK, groping and
kissin* - in her own estab¬
lishment no less!

BUYING A NEW CAR?

RAY SANCTS 824-3322

CHEVROLET-NOVA-CAMARO
PLUS THE EXCITING NEW
1971 VEGA

ve also lease all makes
and models.

"What do you mean, Paul? Make-un by the
Plasterers * s Union!! I am beautiful!"

Scandal - a complete Royal
cast...NO STARS.

Jack Kline is alive and
in San Francisco.

Seems as if Joe Roland
of the Gangway always has
at least one former romance
on the payroll.. .welcome
back John, bye Joe C. The
Gangway also has a swing¬
ing new grouT) on Fri. and
Sat. nights and Sun. after¬
noon - John Gooch on piano
and Mary Jane V/illiams on
guitar - really great sound.

Individuals that cannot
take any active part in
'’’.G. should not be the ones
to spread malicious gossip,
especially when they do not
know what they are talking
about. Speech is silver -
silence is golden.

Met the charming *xMiss
Gayzette* at the 'Q.T.' the
other afternoon - nice per¬
son, nice bar...especially
Danny the bartender.

Hans of the Saturnalia
must be mellowing...acted
almost human at the T.G.
meeting and served a very
nice buffet.

h

Seems funny that Willin’;
Randolph Hearst went into
the newspaper business and
bought two swimming pools,
while Paul (Wilted Flower
Lady?) Bentley had to sell
a pool to publish a news¬
paper.

Bob Patterson, of the
famous Ba.i, was in such a
hurry at the last T.G.
meeting that he shaved his
nose...really Bob! "Dickie
Dare Darling" saved the
T.G. meeting again - thanks
'Minnie* (nit-picker).

Barbara Ball, recently
returned from Honolulu,
set up the bar at the Kok-
pit. Thought she was the
last of the big spenders,
only to find out she had
a five dollar complimen¬
tary ticket.

Have you heard *I Want
To Be Happy* by Ruby Keeler
and Co.?...great. It's com¬
ing in July - The Royal

FILfH Tsrr^ fllafi

EXCEPTIONAL irrelevance

‘Andromeda Strain’ & ‘Claire’s Knee’

"The Andromeda Strain"
is a science-fiction master¬
piece and ranks with the
best of that genre. It is
totally credible in its lo¬
gic (in fact, the first
thing on the screen - after
the "G" rating, is a state¬
ment declaring the film to
be an accurate accounting
of a recent event which the
government will shortly an¬
nounce) and utterly realistic
in its production. The spe¬
cial effects may well be the
finest done in any film in
any genre - at times to the
point of duplicating in the
viewer the exact shock-react¬
ion one would have in real
life. The acting is so fine
that the "suspension of dis¬
belief" takes place almost
immediately and the suspense
is unrelenting from the very
first frame until the very
last.

In passing, I should like
to praise the intelligent and
sensitive portrayal of a
butch, lesbian scientist by
one of Broadway*s most bril¬
liant (but under-recognized)
actresses, Kate Reid,

In short, Robert Wise has
made "The Andromeda Strain"
with as much care as that of
his finest, most highly-ac¬
claimed films.

"Claire’s Knee" is a sim¬
ple, delicately-drawn film of

There is a plethora of
criticism available today on
nearly every motion picture
released. This being the
case, the editors of B.A.R.
felt it would be superfluous
to add just another film
critic to the ever-growing
list. But, in the area of
in-depth commentary on homo-
sexually-relevant films,
there is too little being
published. In the Estab¬
lishment news media, the
often-present homosexual
critic, paranoic about ex¬
posing himself, is the most
destructive of all: dismiss¬
ing the homosexually-rele-
vant film as trash or, if he
finds it impossible to deny
its obvious quality, scrut¬

inizing it until he finds a
flaw - however miniscule
that flaw' might be. For
this reason, it is the pol¬
icy of the Bay Area Report¬
er to devote its film col¬
umn to this much neglected
area.

However, there are films
which, though they have no
direct homosexual relevance,
are relevant indirectly
(e.g. relevant to all Man¬
kind as in "The Andromeda
Strain" or relevant by as¬
sociation with relationships
common to both the homosex¬
ual and heterosexual ways
of life as in "Claire's
Knee") and exceptional e-
nough to warrant our redun¬
dant recommendation.

L. to R.: David Wayne, Kate Reid, Arthur Hill and
James Olson in a scene from "The Andromeda Strain"

& relevant TRASH

‘Dorian Gray’& ‘Music Lovers’

It is my own, personal
policy to review only those
films which I feel are worth
discussing in depth, in the
hopes such reviews might
whet the appetite of you,
the reader and motivate you
into becoming you, the view¬
er. I also see these com¬
mentaries as sorb of a si¬
lent dialogue between you
and me. To further the di¬
alogue, I would welcome any
comments you have to make.
That way, we might possibly
learn from each other.

But there has been some
praise of late, by other
critics writing in homosex¬
ual periodicals, of films
which, by the very receipt
of such praise, do more da¬
mage to the homosexual than
these critics - obviously -
are capable of imagining.

Condoning such warped views
of the homosexual as these
films convey must be the
product of a non-thinking
mind who is under the rid¬
iculous assumption that he
is perceptive. "A little
bit of knowledge in the
hands of a fool" is the
applicable phrase.

"The Music Lovers" is
one of these: an ignorant,
prejudiced, narrow-minded
view of a homosexual genius
(which makes it all the more
destructive in the defama¬
tion of such a man) made
without compassion by an
obviously heterosexual film
maker who lacks any under¬
standing and is clearly ex¬
ploiting a famous "queer"
for financial gain alone.
Adding people like Glenda
Jackson (giving her worst
performance in memory) and

Richard Chamberlain (fresh
from his victory as the
Great Dane) and multi-mill¬
ion dollar sets (which are
truly magnificent), Ken Rus¬
sell gives the film a false
sense of "class" and stature
which can fool the hetero¬
sexual public into believing
that Tchaikowsky actually
did climb the walls and chew
the carpet at the first sight
of his wife's genitalia; that
he actually was so schizo¬
phrenic as to see her, upon
their first meeting, as a
princess (actually and in
full Cinderella regalia),
when she was obviously a
whore to everyone else in
town. There wasn't a scene
rooted in truth anywhere in
the film. That this man
could have existed in such
a fantastic life-style is
the penultimate of incred¬
ulity. _ (cont'd)

a human reaction/counter-re-
action which has been largely
ignored. It is the detailing
of the few moments it takes
to resolve a man's lust for a
young girl he can not attain:
a resolution brought about by
the attempted destruction of
the girl's love affair with a
boy near her age. How often
have we vented our frustrat¬
ion in like manner? We'd
like to forget, I know, but
"Claire's Knee" is charming
and funny, which makes it all
somewhat bearable and - who
knows - might give us a lit¬
tle insight into ourselves
through its disarming object¬
ivity.

"Claire's Knee" opens May
5th at the Vogue, Sacramento
and Presidio.

The performance I saw of
"The Music Lovers" was round¬
ly booed at the end. And,
despite the misguided praise
it received, its first run
was mercifully terminated in
a short time (Audiences know
what's happening!), Undoubt¬
edly, it will show up on a
double-bill in the near-fu¬
ture with something like "The
House That Dripped Blood",
which would be a shame. I'
mean, the latter film having
to cohabit the screen with
such trash as "The Music Lov¬
ers",., the supreme indignity.

"Women in Love", Ken Rus¬
sell's film immediately prior
to "The Music Lovers", was
undoubtedly the best directed
and written film of those
nominated by the motion pic¬
ture Academy for 1970. That
it did not win either could
mean to prove that old the¬
atre axiom, "You're only as
good as your last piece of
work,"

Poor Oscar Wilde. To par¬
aphrase an old Burlesque

.loke, "If he were alive, tais
would kill him!" It was a
good idea to update "The
Picture of Dorian Gray" to
modern times (Lord knows it's
relevant now and is, in fact
so universal as to be a novel
for all seasons) and a clever
idea to cast Helmut Berger in
the title role after his re¬
cent, brilliant performance
in Lucino Visconti's "The
Damned". But who had the un¬
mitigated stupidity to think
he could re-write Wilde and
improve upon it?!

Albert Lewen's film ver¬
sion, made in the 19^*0's,
used nothing but Wilde's or¬
iginal lines and each scene,
as a result, was alternately
devastatingly funny, novrer-
ful, pathetic, frightening
incisive, delicate, poignant,
urbane, philosophical - draw¬
ing all of the audience's e-
motions into play, one after
the other, giving them a to¬
tally satisfying motion pic¬
ture - satisfying every e-
motional need that a film
can satisfy.

In the current version,
n.'-rian is seen seducing a
b.Lack male is a public men’s
room (if you like realism,
here it is - in spades), mak¬
ing love to Lord Henry in the
snower (the v^hole key was the
Mephistofele/Faust relation¬
ship between Lord Henry and
Dorian, which only works on e
platonic basis), hustling his
body off to elderly matrons,
raping his friends* wives,
etc., etc., ho hum, Helmut
Berger's clothes fly off at
the drop of a clap board and
even his beautiful frame be¬
comes a bore (like sitting
through three days of stag
films with the same central
character). In short, this
is a Radley Metzger-ish sex
film (not to defame Mr. Metz¬
ger who, in comparison, has
infinite taste) attempting to
exploit poor Mr. Wilde for
financial gain. They failed
Applause, please.

One final thought: what
are such fine actors as these
doing in such trash? Can't
they read?!

TUESDAY

Leather and prize nite

THURSDAY

Games and fun nite

^ 31-9233

GOT A BITCH??
SOMETHING WRONG

Notify the ‘BEAD READER
Starting next issue a new
column to take care of all
your pet peeves.

The‘BE AD READER’ says;

"if you cant say any¬
thing nasty about a per¬
son, dont say anything" ■

J.Worthington Foulfellow

Address all letters to;

The Bead Reader

c/c B.A.R.

1550 Hov/ard St .

San Francisco, 94103

Bowling League

On V/ednesday night April
28 th, the League had its
annual bowling banquet at
Jackson’s Penthouse. About
75 persons showed up for
this special occasion, for
this is when the team's
trophies are awarded. In
first place this year was
the team from the f’ickle
Fox, followed by the Cream
de Mint (the Mint) in se¬
cond and Fe-Be's in third
place. Among the special
awards also given were the
following: high games went
to E. Wickberg, high series
to L. Overman, high handi¬
cap game to C. Brown, and
and high handicap of the
series to D. O'Neil. Spe¬
cial awards were also given
to the following girls: Di¬
na Dominik, Leslie Orr and
Sue McFarland. The high¬
light of the evening came
when the sportmanship tro¬
phy was awarded to Bob Law-
rey of Jackson's team. Con¬
gratulations to all the win¬
ners of this year's series,
we are looking forward to
another great league this
coming year.

MOW OPEN

TWILIOHT

4S6 CASTRO ST.
SAN FRANCISCO

621-9193

THE NEWEST ADDITION TO CASTRO ST

SMORGASBORD
TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY V
AND THURSDAY: $1.95

DINNER 6:30 TO 10
$1.95

GERALDINE ON THURSDAY
CLOSED MON DA Y

135 - 12th Street OAKLAND 444-9966

(Between Oak and Madison) ■

PAGE

rQNB

982-1837

DINNERS NIGHTLY

6 to 11 pm

YOUR CHEF MONTY

Featuring

DAVID KELSEY

at the Organ

wed. thru sun.

RAMOS FIZZ BRUNCH

ON SA TURD A Y

CHAMPAGNE BRUNCH

ON SUNDAY

from 11 am until 4 pm

431 ^atoma
af ^ar^ 'JCane

(Between 5th and 6th Streets,
Howard and Mission.)

LOCO

WEATHER

REPORT

by Cecil Knockherworst Weatherbee

Local disturbances South
of Market continue to draw
cold and warm fronts. —

Polk Strasses remains in its
Temperate Zone except in the
close vicinity of the Imper¬
ial Palace where whirlwinds
continue undiminishingly, re¬
sulting in extreme spasmodic
movements (Maria). — Turk
Street area, normally the
warm belt, has passed a per¬
iod of downcasts, one of
those unfortunate storms. —
Watch for turbulent layers
of hot air sweeping in from
the Panhandle, this could be
caused by voids. — East Bay
tends to be calm and cool. —
The Peninsula continues to
blossom with meteorlogical
personalities bringing
glowing warmth for all to
enjoy. — Current Bay Area
forecasts tend to see a
flow of the turbulent winds
and hot airs moving towards
the Northwest, reducing
pressure and mailing for a
pleasant weekend, ideal for
cruising. However, watch for
sudden changes in the next
few weeks...enjoy!

YOUR guide'
to

PORTLAND

KIssy, Kissy from Diki-Rose Em¬
press VIII, Current Court Jester

With all the hustle and
bustle of finding wig
cases tall enough and jew¬
el boxes large enough for
the forth coming sojourn
to the Rose City, I thought
I'd take a moment to point
out a few highlights of
the City for your cruising
and drinking enjoyment.

Portland's bar scene is
unique in one respect, es¬
pecially for the traveler.

All the bars are located
in one square mile area in
downtown Portland. This
makes everything easy to
find and one needn't drive
all over the world for a
change of scene.

Bar hours differ depend¬
ing on whether it's hard
liquor or beer you enjoy.

Beer bars, or Taverns if
you will, close at 1.00
A.M. Hard liquor bars close
at 2:30 A.M.

If these few facts are
now clearly stenciled on
your mind, come with me on
a brief tour. I'm sure

In San Francisco—The "Gay” Supermarket!

As complete and extensive a sel¬
ection of Male-Oriented Erotica
as you'll find anywhere. Movies,
Slides, Photos, Magazines, Books,
Gifts, Novelities, etc.

Open 10 til 8:30 Daily.

Mattachine Exotic Movies-Thurs
thru Sunday Eves- 8:30pm 2 hrs.

2 Screens. $2.50 contribution.

The Adonis supports work of Mattachine Society, Inc., next door at 386 Ellis St.

we'll find something for
everyone. Our first stop
takes us to the TAVERN,
one of Portland's oldest,
if not the oldest bar in
the city. It is a , beer'bar
located on 2nd and Yamhill.
This is an all-round type
place certain to be en¬
joyed by all. Pop, as he's
known to all, is always on
hand to greet and serve
you.

The OTHER INN, located
Just two blocks away, is
another very popular beer
.and wine bar run by the
famous Mama Bernice. Mama,
a rotund and Jolly lady,
loves all her 'blue birds'
as she calls everyone. Here
we can find some Western
types and pool is the favor¬
ite sport.

The DEf^S, on the other
side of Burnside, is another
fun beer and wine bar. Boys
and girls go there to play
pool or whatever one might
like to play.

DEMETRIS, on N.W. 6th
near Burnside, is, or would
hope to be, a leather bar.

A city as small as the Rose
City, however, naturally has

less leather types of any
quality, as we know them.

Of course, this can't dis¬
count their warmth and
friendship, and again I'm
certain one can enjoy, en¬
joy, enjoy.

Moving right along, we
drop in at ROMANS, very pop¬
ular with everyone. Always
crowded with any number of
types and trips, ROMANS
keeps you hopping with one
surprise after another. RO¬
MANS is on 9th and Yamhill.

ZORBA THE GREEK is pro¬
bably the newest and most
beautiful bar anywhere. It
is done on many levels and
the atmosphere is very
Greek and very warm. Again,
beer and wine are served
along with lots of Portland
warmth and friendship.

THE ANNEX is another
groovy bar run by one of
my favorite people, Derek.

At one time known as DEREK'S,
I understand that by the
time we arrive it may be
changed again to THE APART¬
MENT. At any rate, it can
be found right across the
street from the Telephone
Company, which I'm certain

excites everyone right
down to their toes. Again,
beer and wine.

THE RIP TIDE, a very
swinging dance bar with a
cast of thousands, can be
found a few short blocks
away on Burnside. A liquor
bar serving goblets of fun
and danger and madness at
all times. I really recom¬
mend this one if you have
the stamina.

Last, but not least, we
have DAHL AND DENNE at the
foot of the Morrison Bridge.
Another liquor bar with
kind of a leather crowd.
However, again you will
find Just about anyone and
everyone there. Food is
served.

This is but a brief
list which I hope can help
those new to the North get
a start on their bar tour.
One need only get to any
one of these places and
bartenders and patrons
alike will be more than
delighted to show you any
and all the nooks and cran¬
nies of vice and sin. Have
a wonderful trip, the City
of Roses awaits you.

CUSTOM DRAPERY OFFER

PRICE OF FABRIC INCLUDES

from

per yard
uniined

MEASURING

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ALL DRAPERIES MADE UP IN OUR OWN WORK ROOM
ALL WORK GUARANTEED

GEORGE’S DRAPERY SERVICE

OUR DECORATOR WILL BRING SAMPLES TO YOUR HOME - NO OBLIG.VTION

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FREE CATALOGUES

Gay Male Books,Magazines,
Movies. Trojan,Box 2121
Philadelphia,Penn 19103
Adults only.(over 21)

CAN YOU BE GAY?

Guys who have never had a
gay experience,but who
would like to-here*s your
chance.Discreet guy will
show you what the gay life
is like in complete priv¬
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photo and phone no. to:
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no, 1056 ,Hollywood, Ca

90028 . __

GAY LIB MOVEMENT
T-Shirts 4.95.Rubber sta¬
mps 2.50 ea,2 4,00;Bumper
stickers,75<^ each,4, 2 . 00 .
GAY POWER,GAY IS THE WAY,
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Josefs Enterprises, PO Bx
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91340

INFORMTION WiTKD
Man wants info or advice on
Sex Change Operation. R.W,
Hemenway,328 Georgia St.
Hollywood California.. _

HEXCRAFT & SPELLS

Illustrated 32 page booklet
of Satanism,Sorcery,Witch¬
craft, Magic,etc. 25^ to
Anna Riva,Box 2505,Prescott,
Arizona 86301. _

SWEETLIPS?

V7e love you anyway, no mat¬
ter what they say.

John & Gary Plasterers Local
66 S.F._

GAY IS GOOD

SIR; Largest most sucessful
homophile group in US.Read
of SIR’S fight for pride,
dignity,identity, social and
legal justice.Full info -
Center 83 6 th St, San Fran-
cisco.Cal 94103.

MALE FOOT FETISH
I like to go down and
groove on male feet. If
you are 21 to 35,slim
build, any race and you
are interested let me
hear from you. Boxholder
Box 34 o 4,Huntington Park
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stocky build,brn hair,
hazel eyes, German desc¬
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french culture._

DRAG QUEENS UNITE.

A organization concent¬
rating on issue concern--
ing drag queens. Info
write Queens c/o Brewster
626 E l4th St.N.Y.N.Y.,
10009 .fone(212)533-4132.

GAY NEWS

The ADVOCATE offers news
& features of direct int¬
erest to the gay comm¬
unity. Get a copy.Sample
issue, 50 ^ to ADVOCATE,

Box 74695.L.A..CA.90004-

POETRY

In Billowing Smoke

In billowing grey walls
Out really is
In and out

It is really relative to relative
Grey smoke filled lungs
Is reality

Versing me not illusion. Like
Real lungs of glass; a stone
In a vagina froze shut
Reality is accepted illusion
And I am not; not a big boulder
Like reality

I am a pebble like illusion

But when reality billows grey aroiind

The stone in its womb

Oh, I am big

And, now, I cannot move

But illusion moves

Within reality billowing

Blowing smoke

Out and in and out.

IN SAN DIEGO . . .
THREE PLACES TO
SERVE YOUR NEEDS...

DAVE'S CLUB

(Private) 4969 Santa Monica
Ocean Beach (714) 224-9011

DAVE'S FOX & HOUNDS MOTEL

(Heated Pool) (714) 273-2651
4520 E. Mission Bay Dr.

DAVE'S PACIFIC SANDS MOTEL

(Right on the beach)

4445 Ocean Bl. (714) 488-6979